


Futility Realized

by ladydragon76



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Fanfiction, Gen, M/M, Rating: PG-13, character: megatron, character: optimus prime, genre: crack, genre: humor, verse: g1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-29
Updated: 2012-05-29
Packaged: 2017-11-06 05:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Meant to be an entry for competition_fun’s <a href="http://competition-fun.livejournal.com/32242.html">Dreamscape Contest</a>, but didn’t get it together in time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Futility Realized

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** None.  
>  **Notes:** \- Quote - "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." - Friedrich Schiller

**Title:** Futility Realized  
 **Verse:** G1  
 **Series:** None  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Characters:** Optimus Prime, Megatron  
 **Summary:** Meant to be an entry for competition_fun’s [Dreamscape Contest](http://competition-fun.livejournal.com/32242.html), but didn’t get it together in time.  
 **Warnings:** None.  
 **Notes:** \- Quote - "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." - Friedrich Schiller

 

**Futility Realized**

 

“I do not think you should-“ was what Optimus Prime heard Perceptor say just before the explosion threw him back from the lab door to crash against the opposite wall.

Optimus jumped back on his feet, audials ringing and gyros spinning, and hurried back across the corridor into the burning lab.

“I’m ok!” Wheeljack shouted over the roar of the fire when he spotted Prime. “Get Percy!” Optimus hesitated as Wheeljack ‘pointed’ with what remained of his left arm. “The tubing cauterized,” Wheeljack yelled. “Get Perceptor.”

“ _Optimus Prime to Ratchet-_ ”

“ _Already on my way. The frag did he blow up this time?_ ”

Ratchet’s tone might have been one of irritated resignation, but Optimus knew he was running. He opened a new comm channel. The fire needed tended. “ _Prime to Ironhide. There’s a fire in science lab two._ ”

“ _That what shook the ground there a minute ago? Primus, what’d Wheeljack blow up this time?_ ”

Optimus didn’t bother with a response, and rushed in the direction Wheeljack had indicated. He quickly spotted Perceptor’s arm, and heaved the weighty table off the mech.

Perceptor blinked up at Prime a moment. “Thank you. I landed in such a way as to give me no leverage to lift the table, but I believe it shielded me from most of the blast. Luckily, I saw what was about to occur and was able to take cover.”

“You’re not hurt?” Ratchet cut in.

“Uh. A few dents perhaps.” Perceptor cringed back a little as Ratchet eyed him. “I shall, uh, just take myself to the medbay. Just in case.”

“Good idea.” Ratchet abruptly turned, and stomped toward Wheeljack. “ _You_!”

Optimus tuned out the coming rant, and helped brace Perceptor as he stepped unsteadily over the debris. Ironhide had the fire tamed and nearly out, so he chose to escort Perceptor to the medbay.

The medbay was full of noise when Optimus arrived. He settled Perceptor onto an out of the way berth, then turned to see what all the commotion was about.

“Both of you need to stop whining,” Sideswipe said as he rummaged through drawers Optimus was pretty sure he’d been banned from. In fact, he thought Sideswipe was banned from touching pretty much everything in the medbay except aft to berth when Ratchet ordered it.

“I’m _not_ whining!” Sunstreaker snapped.

Bluestreak whined quietly, doorwings tucked back and low.

Optimus blamed those same doorwings for it taking him a moment to realize Sunstreaker’s hand was on Bluestreak’s aft. He wondered if it was worth pointing out that Prowl had regulations against public groping since that whole ‘doorwings are _sensitive_ ’ kick everyone went on a while back.

“Then quit your bitching,” Sideswipe said blithely. “Ah hah!” He held aloft a small bottle of… something. “I _knew_ he kept some in here. After the Ping Pong Ball Incident of ’85, it’d be plain dumb not to.”

Optimus frowned, walking very slowly toward the small group, his mouth was open to ask, but just then Sunstreaker huffed. “ _Finally_!” The hand not on Bluestreak’s aft, pushed at the mech’s shoulder, forcing them both to turn. “I’m going to kill you for this.”

Sideswipe smirked. “Not much incentive for me to unstick you then, huh?”

“ _Sides_ ,” Sunstreaker growled, and Optimus froze.

Optimus blinked.

“Sideswipe, please?” Bluestreak said. “Mechs are going to get the wrong idea.” Optimus tilted his helm. They-

“Or the right one,” Sideswipe laughed.

-had glued Sunstreaker’s hand to Bluestreak’s aft.

Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose, about-faced, and marched right out of the medbay. No. He was not dealing with that one. Prowl could hand him the report later after locking Sunstreaker in the brig for trying to beat his twin’s face in.

Again.

He’d almost made it to the safety of his office when the ground began to tremble.

“Heeee!”

The squeal and… squeal of tires, made Optimus turn.

“Comin’ through, Bossbot!” Jazz hollered, swerving as Optimus jumped back out of the way.

Optimus stared after his cackling Third in Command, wondering if he should be concerned. The ground was still shaking, and no way was that Jazz’s fau-

“You Jazz get back here!”

Optimus flattened himself to the wall as Grimlock led a stampede after Jazz.

“Me Grimlock gonna squash you good!”

“Me Snarl too!”

“Me Sludge three!”

Slag added a roar to that.

“You Prime in dangerous spot,” Swoop said, slowing as he glided by to deliver that sage advice.

Then he, and the others, were gone, the ground still shaking in their wake.

Optimus slumped against the wall. He wondered if it’d be un-Autobot-like of him to go pick a fight with the Decepticons. Maybe he could get captured? Spend a little time on vacation in Megatron’s brig?

~ | ~

Megatron frowned as he heard Starscream’s shrill voice underscored by a deeper tone, rumbling in irritation. Not that irritation was any kind of a surprise where Starscream was involved. Allowing his curiosity to lead him, Megatron keyed open the laboratory door.

“-blow up the whole slagging _ship_!”

Megatron winced as Starscream hit a particularly uncomfortable note.

“Who the frag do you think you’re talking to?” Mixmaster growled back. “I actually know what I’m doing here!”

“Could have fooled me!”

“I’m not the one that mislabeled the slagging chemicals!”

“Well it _certainly_ wasn’t _me_!”

Megatron stepped back, and closed the door. Mixmaster _was_ competent. A bit on the… eccentric side, but he’d come up with a number of useful things, and the only accidents Megatron could recall were ones caused by others. Starscream was many things, but he didn’t mess about in his precious lab.

Ever.

Megatron shook his helm, and headed toward the Command Center. He heard the arguing voices before he reached them. Primus. What now? Not that arguing was terribly uncommon, but two so close, and so early?

“I’m tellin’ ya, bro. Wasn’t me.”

“Frag yerself, ya daffy glitch! When I get down, I’ma beat your ugly mug in!” Rumble shouted back at Frenzy.

Frenzy’s fists landed on his hips as he stared from his spot on the floor to where Rumble was hanging upside down from his feet on the ceiling. “Oh, now that’s incentive ta get ya down.”

“Wow.”

Only ages of practice and control kept Megatron from twitching at the voice suddenly beside him. He looked at Skywarp with a raised optic ridge.

“What’s with today already? TC’s glitching over- Well… something.”

“Indeed,” Megatron said, eying the seeker. No one did innocent like Skywarp. Sometimes even Soundwave wasn’t sure if the glitch was guilty or not.

“Need some help, Zee?” Skywarp didn’t wait for an answer, and stepped forward. He snickered as he grabbed Frenzy and tossed him into the air. Both Cassetticon twins shouted, and Megatron thought it was more willpower than anything else that allowed their hands to meet and clasp before Frenzy took the long fall back down. “There ya go!” Skywarp said, chipper and bright.

Megatron’s optics narrowed. He opened his mouth to demand some answers, but a scream came from behind him.

Swindle screamed again as he slid around the corner of the hall, arms windmilling, feet clattering as he tried to stay upright.

“What have we told you about coming in our room?!” Dragstrip shouted as he and the other Stunticons skated with far more grace after the Combaticon.

“But I don’t know how I got there!” Swindle wailed.

Megatron flattened himself to the wall, watching in something like disbelief as they all charged by.

“My lord,” Motormaster muttered as he went by, not breaking stride at all for the greeting.

Nonplussed, Megatron looked at the opposite wall where Skywarp was, arms flung out, wings flat to the bulkhead. Suspicion welled up again as the seeker snickered.

There was a yelp, then small scream, and Frenzy clanked as he hit the floor.

Hard.

Somewhere there was a deep **BOOM** , and the emergency klaxons blared.

Megatron shut his optics, cycled his vents, then turned and walked away. He wondered where the best place to pick a fight with Prime would be. He could throw it and be captured. A few days in the Autobots’ brig would be a welcome break from this madness.

~ | ~

**([Table of Contents](http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/6214.html) ) ******


End file.
